It’s a Rhythm Lifestyle

I sometimes wonder if I am too intent on my housework.

I find a real sense of ease and beauty when I have placed things just so and the dust has been wiped away. It allows me to sink deeper into the lived moment when my eyes graze the floor and see no thing left to do.

The reality is, though, that it takes hella time to maintain a home, particularly while living with young children and a slightly neurotic feline. The work is never complete. Rather, I pause and return, again and again.

Housekeeping requires rhythm as it is always waiting to recommence. My heart seeks meaningful pauses and to embrace the work, there is a song in all of this yet it can be a real struggle to uncover it.

The reality is that there is an extreme repetition to the work each day and I fear for my sanity if I allow this to be anything less than an inquiry into spirit, culture and-when I am really on my game- craft. The last thing I want to show my boys is that housework is drudgery because that would have me daily resisting my life, but submitting over and over.

And yet, I can not help but look around some days and wonder; as a daughter of the feminist movement, was this the endgame? Am I living the dream that they held in their hearts? Or, are my sisters working with their babies in daycare living the dream? What would allow all hearts and families to flourish in this one precious go of it?

Sure, to be able to choose between career and homemaking is an evolution of culture and some women, families manage to do BOTH, but I want to take it further. I do not believe the conversations of the 1920 and 1970s and all time are over. I hope that you will join me in this conversation when you can.

9 thoughts on “It’s a Rhythm Lifestyle

  1. Devon, wanted to comment directly from your blog but couldn’t find a way to do it except here? hope this works. i totally relate to what you write about. i often wonder about how much time is spent parenting and then housekeeping – and i almost always housekeep when i have a free moment as this preserves my sanity and allows me to ‘relax’ at home… but then all my time is WORKING!!! i often wonder about the lack of balance of it at times – like shouldn’t i be doing yoga? calling a friend? writing? etc etc… things for ME? but then i remember that all of this life of householding IS for me… and maintaining a peaceful, sane order of things is part of tending hearth. it is all important… i think the key is to not lose yourself in the tasks of it all. instead, i think the key is turning the ‘work’ into a practice that is meaningful and intention filled… spirit filled and heart filled… so sweeping isn’t just sweeping, it is cleaning the temple…laundry isn’t only laundry, it can be an act of mindfulness and love… for me it is all about the quality of attention i can bring to what i’m doing, even if i don’t immediately LOVE what i’m doing… i remember that i chose this life and i chose to bring children into the world… and then i keep a practice of diversifying my activities to include self-care and indulgent moments, too… like baking cookies for myself. taking a nap. lighting a candle… and then remembering to relish those precious moments… ah, i could say more and more… but i’ll leave you here. thanks for sharing these thoughts. what is true liberation? per your query about feminist movement – i think it is absolute freedom and wildness and heart expressed in whatever you are doing, moment to moment, whether working outside of the home or in… and balancing it all somehow with grace and love…

    1. Thanks for sharing in this conversation with me, Deb. I have a blank spot in my journal where I have invited myself to do the math and quantify the hours I am pouring in to it all: housework, cooking. I know playing and self care and relationship tending feel like they pale in comparison. I am finding myself resistant to finding hard numbers for these disciplines I am practicing, but I am curious. I think that I’ll find myself in pigeon pose before I go off to bed. True liberation….let’s take that up when we meet again, at last.

  2. Hi Devon, You write so well that it is almost intimidating to compose a reply. I also find order in my home to be soothing and I do the work of putting things away rather than have them silently nag at me. Of course it is much easier for me without any little ones around, but I would happily trade in some messiness for the opportunity to see Liam and Caleb more often. I hope your blog is fulfilling its function as a method of self expression and connecting with others. I loved reading your previous blog so I hope you are able to keep it up despite the many demands on your time. Love, Susie

    1. Susie,
      Thanks for your comment. I am really enjoying the space and intention to write. It helps to have chosen a day of the week where that is the practice, so it allows me to do things like scrub the floors and play outside with Liam on a day like today. There will be more!

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