Ballast

It’ s almost too exciting to have time to myself these days. My husband resumes his school-year life early next week and I can’t believe that the massive support of a second parent at home is nearly over and done with so soon. I will need to cultivate ballast that I can access for the next month before my kindergardener, too, returns to school.

The kids go out with their dad on bike rides for a few hours at the time, such as now, and I spin in circles, literally, starting projects, getting distracted, starting other projects. (Stretch! Clean! Write! Read! Run! Call! Prep Meals! Organize! Plan! Craft??)

It feels essential to prioritize what I want to have completed by the time any window of unfettered movement has closed again. Today, I requested Writing Time, and I am acutely aware of how even within this, there is much clamoring for my attention. Do I write for reflection, for connection, for publication, for all three?

Yes, I am trying to do all three and the iced coffee helps with that.

Currently, I am reading The Circle by Dave Eggers and I feel the challenge within the story to look at my use of technology and social media. I strive to strike a moderate approach with both; one that gives to me, rather than depleting me. There are, however, deeper questions to consider and the answers feel clear to me when I am out in nature or surrounded by friends, but there is less clarity when home all day with small children.

It is a challenge to achieve “flow” when constantly redirected which I now see that I do to myself at times as if in absurd imitation of my children.  Funny, that. My meta practice for this next round of school-year/Life will be to make more consistent the practices that keep me sane and hold me accountable.

Right now, it seems I ought to go roll out my mat and sink into my bones for a bit before they come a-rumblin’ back.

A note: Thanks for all the good words, comments and reflections that you have been sending my way in various ways. If you don’t feel comfortable commenting on the blog itself, please do feel invited to call, email, smoke signal, etc. I respect all modes of correspondence.

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